How my mental health struggle lead me to JESUS

I would like to get honest here. I have struggled with my mental health. I have been depressed to the point of becoming suicidal. I have struggled with fear, anxiety, and confusion.

There I said it. It still seems like a big deal because I still have a feeling I will get judged.

It all started in my middle school years. I started feeling fearful of the dark, then I’d struggle with doubts about my faith in God. Then I went to High School and things went downhill. I began to be fascinated with philosophical ideas but was also scared of so much. I was very insecure and fearful. I was super shy and would hardly talk to anyone.

I began to write poems that were expressing how I felt and they were depressing. Then the college years came, and that’s when I hit rock bottom since I had some horrible things happen that caused me to get hospitalized. It was then I ran to JESUS, since He was my only hope.

When I say hope, I mean I was at my last strand. I had nothing that was reviving me. I had lost all joy in everything and the only strong One in the room; the only One standing still not defeated through the war in my mind was JESUS.

I was very confused, but one thing I knew was that JESUS stood like a rock for me, and He was the only Constant and Steady One. So I clung to Him. I would cry my heart out to Him in the bathroom so that no one could see me or find me only Jesus. One day I was particularly feeling deeply empty and deeply depressed in the dark. I cried so much to Him! And He became so real and tangible I could feel Him slowly and gently fill my heart and the depth that felt empty.

I can’t say everything has been perfect, but I do know that in all my mental turmoil, nothing was ever as strong as JESUS became in my mind and heart.

I write this to share a little bit of my story in order to tell you that mental health struggles are real. Depression is real. Anxiety is real. Fear is real. Suicidal thoughts are real. Suicide is real.

JESUS CHRIST is the stronger reality though and HE alone can withstand anything with you and for you.

JESUS is real, and He is stronger than anything you could every experience. If you humbly come and ask HIM to help you and to show Himself to you, HE will.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:13

Why the Golden Rule is still important

“Treat others the way you want to be treated”

I’ve always held this moral value in the forefront of everything I do; it’s one of the values I find of utmost importance. Next to integrity, it’s definitely at a top priority when dealing with others. With that said, I have experienced the opposite in many ways and instances. I am not perfect and each day that has gone by has only proven this fact. Truth is, no one is, no human being is perfect in any way. God knows this and yet He still loves us unconditionally.

I’ve basically have gone through a lot of things that have now drawn me even closer to God. That’s the glory for now as I believe that God always turns ashes into beauty. That’s just the God I’ve known all my life, so I know even more glory will come. Glory to HIM.

I’ve gone through a lot of questions, disappointments and frustrations. I’ve failed and people have failed me as well. I share this because it has truly made me think about some things: What can I learn from this? What does God want me to learn, and how can I overcome with a better perspective and character?

Well I’ve learned from God’s word that:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” -Philippians 2:3-4.

“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ -Matthew 22:39

With these two verses in mind, I find myself acknowledging the fact that it’s a rare thing to find in the world. Normal people won’t go above and beyond themselves to love others especially if their neighbor has failed one way or another. How many of you have heard of failures within the church, you know, “pastors” that have failed big time. The sad part about that isn’t so much that they failed, because that is still very sad, the sad part should be how many people left them, how many within the so called church family forgot about them, and stopped talking to them, how many judged themselves better and stop associating themselves with that person.

Stop. Think. How would you like to be treated if that was you? Because Jesus isn’t like other people. Jesus doesn’t leave. He stays. Jesus doesn’t condemn. He doesn’t stop loving, or even stops speaking to you. Perhaps, you stop speaking to Him, but He awaits for you to speak to Him again. That should blow our minds. The point is that we need to be more like Jesus. Be peculiar. Be different. Be the one that stays.

Treat others the way you want to be treated, because you may be the only person doing so. Spread the love of Jesus. Amen.

Love,

Sharon

When you feel like you are not worthy or valuable, read this!

Have you ever gone through a time when you felt unworthy, or you couldn’t see your value and felt unworthy of love. People may have made you feel this way, or someone may have done something that left you feeling this way. Whether it was any type of abuse, or rejection towards you, it may have left you feeling unworthy, and unwanted, not loved.

I myself have gone through relationships that didn’t work out, whether they were romantic or friendship, love was not at the center and the end of it left me feeling this way.

The good news is that God has seen you through it all and He still sees you the same with a heart full of grace and love.

Notice I keep saying it’s a feeling or a thought because it’s far from the truth.  See the ultimate truth teller is God, and what He says about you is

not that you’re unworthy, but worth everything to Him,

not unloved but loved forever unconditionally,

not unwanted but so desired and cherished,

not lacking value, but extremely valuable to Him

What He says matters because His truth is what stands now and will stand forever.

God has not forgotten you and He never will. God can and will make things right and His righteousness is what makes us clean and in right standing with Him.

You must quit striving and accept what God says about you, and live fully surrendered to Him.

We surrender by giving God full control of our lives and placing our faith in Him.

I pray you see this truth and see God for who He is and see Yourself as He sees you. Our worth and value does not come from what we do or don’t do, but it is fully given to us by our Creator God and through the love that was poured out by Jesus on the cross.

I hope you never forget how loved you are, and what God says about you.

Here are some great verses to memorize, meditate, or journal over:

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalms 139:14

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

“you were bought at a price.” 1 Corinthians 6:20

“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” John 15:9

I hope this leads you into a better understanding of your incredible value, and worth.

Love,

Sharon

When your identity is shaken…

I have been through a season where I still have not found the right words to express well enough. It has been a season of reflection, and evaluating all that I’ve learned and how it all can be applied from now on. There have been ways of thinking that the Lord has gently and patiently helped me through. One of the things that I have definitely grown and become stronger in is in my identity in Christ. I have been rocked to the core of my identity. I now see that God allowed me to come to the end of myself in order that I could be built up in Him. That is what He does sometimes! Although it was hard to see then, I look back and am able to see how faithful God has been. He knew the good that would come out of it. Placing my identity in who God says I am is the foundation and nothing will shake it because Jesus is at the center of it. This is the foundation that we must fall back on, and it’s only found on the Rock that is Jesus!

God has provided His word of Truth so that we can place our trust and hope in Him. God’s word provides us with everything there is to know about Him, and also about the truth of our new identity as His children. The enemy hates that, and that is why he tries to steal and destroy us through blinding us of who we are in Christ. As we see in John 10:10 which tells us that the enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy.

I know I’m not the only one who has struggled or thought these things, which is why I wrote this post. I hope more will come out of it, since I sense God pouring into this issue in me more and more everyday. I am stronger in this area by the grace of God since He used His word to speak against the lies.

Something that has always comforted me is knowing that Jesus understands these feelings well. He himself was tempted by the enemy to the core of his identity, but guess what?, Jesus was able to overcome. That is exactly what we are to do as well when we come under attack in these ways.

These are the some of the verses God has spoken over into my mind and heart to help me overcome and become strong in Him. May these also arm you with truth that will help you overcome the lies against your identity.

*When you feel you aren’t enough: You have a priceless value and worth for God

God says, “For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” -Galatians 3:27-28

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price”-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

*If you feel you are less than: You are priceless

Sister, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of god he created them; male and female he created them.”- Genesis 1:27

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”-Jeremiah 1:5

*You don’t feel purposeful or feel you lack purpose: In God, you were created with a purpose!

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”- Ephesians 2:10

“But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever; the purposes of his heart through all generations.”-Psalm 33:11

“For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things have been created through Him and for him.”- Colossians 1:16

*For the times when you feel like you don’t fit in or flat out experience rejection: You  belong and are accepted.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness in to his wonderful light.”- 1 Peter 2:9

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”-John 1:12

“to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.”-Ephesians 1:6

*If you feel unloved or unwanted: You are deeply loved with an everlasting, unconditional love.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.” 1 John 3:1

“We love because he first loved us”- 1 John 4:19

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”- Galatians 2:20

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”-Jeremiah 31:3

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”-Zephaniah 3:17

May we speak these truths over ourselves when we become weak or tempted. do whatever you need to do so that these truths become ingrained in your heart so that nothing will shake you. I hope this brings encouragement and freedom in those moments of struggle. Place these in your heart!

Love,

Sharon

 

 

If you feel far from God

“I will rejoice and be glad in your faithful love because you have seen my affliction. You know the troubles of my soul and have not handed me over to the enemy.” Psalm 31:7-8a

I read this verse today and it captured my heart so much. How many of us have seen our own afflictions, how many of us have gone through deep wrenching troubles of the soul and just troubles in general. I have gone through hell and back to be honest. I know we all have our own stories, but I’d like to say that I would never have imagined living in the peace that I live in now. God has truly been faithful to me, and He hasn’t let me go or let me down. I can say that I know that I know that God is truly real. I was so afraid, and fear had captured my life. I’ve struggled with a lot of depression, anxiety, and fear. During those times I’ve clung to God like no other time, and sometimes I haven’t. I for one haven’t been the faithful one in my relationship with God, I have failed Him. There’s times when I’ve doubted a lot of things in my faith, and have felt like I didn’t even want to be a Christian anymore, not because I hated God, but because it’s just been that hard. I had stopped going to church, and didn’t care about living the Christian life anymore, but God didn’t’ give up on me. I truly thought he had, and that it was over, that I wasn’t a Christian anymore. I didn’t even know what that meant anymore, but soon enough God began to call me back through His gentle love. I began missing my Christian friends and just the way it used to be. I had gone through enough trouble to know that without God it really couldn’t work anymore. I became desperate for God again, and that’s how He’s been working in me. I’ve slowly gotten closer and can’t believe he’s taken me back like that. I was sorta the prodigal daughter in many ways, at the same time I was struggling with so much inside, but He really had His arms wide open for me.

I wanted to share this because I want to encourage you, if you are doubting, or if you are struggling in your faith, or if you feel you’ve strayed away too far, and you think God couldn’t possibly love you or take you back, you are so wrong, and that is a lie. Something shared this Sunday at my church was that the moment you said yes to Jesus and you believed in Him and placed your faith in Him, you know that time, He gave you something special, He deposited His Holy Spirit inside of you to never ever let you go. So you are His and you belong to Him, and you belong in the family of faith. If you’re nervous about coming back but you want to, know that He is waiting for you with arms wide open, and all your brothers and sisters will love you and understand you, because many of us have gone through the same thing. so plesase don’t stay far any longer, know that without Jesus nothing is going to make sense, and you will realize it one way or the other soon enough. Remember as well, He promises that if you draw near to him, he will draw near to you. God was faithful in my afflictions, in my times of warfare he didn’t give me over the enemy, he protected, oh how he has protected me.

He has not only given up His life for you, but He fights for you and He is constantly faithful to you. Know that He will never give up on you, so go on, and run to Him, He is waiting.

Love,

Sharon

When church truly isn’t about the building…

We are finally in June. I can’t believe how fast this year is going. Today, I had finally decided to go back to the same church I had been attending. Lately, I’ve taken a break and have not attended any church. Church is more than just the building anyways. I decided I was going to the regular night (middle of the week) service, forgetting why I had stopped driving for 40 minutes twice a week just to get there. When I finally made it, I realized I was very early and the previous service had not ended. I walked over after waiting in the car for a couple of minutes to let time pass. I was walking and realized I needed to use the bathroom so I went in. I immediately heard someone calling my name, and then when I was in the bathroom, this one girl came in and she didn’t even say hi to me, she just ignored me and pretended to be talking about the bathroom when I already felt so judged by her and she totally made me feel ignored, and judged, like she was suspicious of me. She always gives that vibe, the “I’m perfect and you’re not” in a spiritual sense. I felt so sad about it. I decided to walk out and just turn back around and drive away instead of coming in. I remembered why I had stopped going since I had a car accident. Mainly because it’s such a big church and it’s so easy to feel lost and like you’re only a number. After all I’ve been through I’ve only craved to be in community and feel tight knit with a group of people. I’ve been craving and looking for that. I was driving on one of the main highways and just started bawling about the whole thing and about how I felt. I was so sad about it because I was wishing to be with certain people who I had met that weren’t even Christians  instead of feeling so alone like this and so mistreated by someone at a place I had been hoping to find community. I drove over to my favorite store still crying it out, went inside and immediately went to ask for a bible study book. See, they are hosting a new bible study starting next week. A sales associate came to help me and I just immediately told him with him about why I was crying and how I felt. He listened and understood and told me why he thinks this happens in such huge churches. I bought the book and then he and this other lady that rung me up asked if they could pray for me, the lady prayed and I thought that was so nice of him to ask and for them to do that, they even invited me to a church he attends at. I thought that was so nice and I felt so comfortable, like they were my friends. I really needed that, and I was so grateful they treated me that way, it made me feel valued. So yeah I walked out feeling so much better. Now I can say church is definitely not about the building.

Be a voice!

Have you ever thought about the vulnerable. Who are the vulnerable around you? What is the most important need they have? I would say it is to be highly protected and cared for. The last thing they need is to be harmed. Which is why human trafficking is pure evil because it is taking advantage of the most vulnerable in our world, women and girls. No one deserves to be sold for sex or sold for anything, because people have value and worth. Think of all the people that are being victimized by this horrific thing, but I want you to think of your mother, or sister, or cousin, or best friend, that girl in your life. What would you do if she was being trafficked? What would you do to help her? There are many families being affected by this, and most of all think about your heart, and how it breaks, how do you think these innocent girls feel? These women? What do you think it does to their hearts?

This is why it’s so important we stand up for what is right, because God is a God who goes after the broken, and His heart beats for the vulnerable and the weak, HE is a Champion who fights for them. I want all of us to fight for the right thing and that means being a voice of the fact that there are millions of people suffering as victims. This can’t go on anymore, and we must do our best to help in any way.

Here is a practical way you can help the cause of Human Trafficking and that is by helping organizations that are in the front lines and fighting against it by bringing freedom as well as restoration to innocent victims.

I have joined Dressember Foundation to be an Advocate and bring awareness by wearing a dress every day of the month of December. It’s a way to remember and bring awareness. You can join me and post a picture of your outfit and write out a short prayer or you can also support financially by donating any amount (#Dressemeber2017). Right now I have a goal of $350 and would like for you to help me reach my goal. One of my most favorite organizations are involved in this!

Here’s the link:

https://dressember.funraise.org/fundraiser/sharon-alvarez

I hope you can join in through: Prayer, Awareness, or Financial support! It’s so important we fight for justice and mercy!

❤ Sharon

In the waiting…look to Jesus!

“I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1

In the waiting. I am currently in the waiting season. Aren’t we always. It feels like waiting is one of the hardest things we need to endure sometimes. At times it is. At times we may find the patience and strength to wait the way we are called to do so as women of God, but most of the time it’s really hard. What is that one thing you are waiting on? Is it that husband, or that job, the perfect career? Is it that moment when you can finally go on that long awaited vacation? I have come to understand and believe that we will always be waiting on something, even if it’s small. I believe God made waiting a time where we can actually learn like sponges if we do it well. During the waiting seasons of our lives we stand at a fork in the road where we must choose the path of waiting well or waiting poorly. What will you choose.

Currently I am waiting for a couple of things in my life, but I refuse to stay with my arms crossed or become impatient as well. I guess I’m learning well, not to become impatient. One thing that has helped me is reaching out to others and asking for prayer or just sitting down to talk about things with a friend. Be intentional with your relationships even in these hard seasons. Taking good care of our relationships is an intentional thing we must pursue at all seasons of our lives. So yes, welcome community in your life in your season of waiting is truly important. Something else that has helped is to fully become dependent on God-JESUS. Humbly acknowledging that I need Him more than that thing I am waiting on, that He truly is my reward and that He is everything I could desire or want. HE is the Ultimate filler of my heart and soul, so nothing can come in the way of that, not even that thing you are waiting on. Something that has helped me a whole lot is waiting with my hands wide open. Knowing that again, my life doesn’t depend on what I’m waiting on, but that if God wills for me to have it, then I must not hold to it or cling to it, but my heart and soul is and must be fully anchored on Christ alone. I have become satisfied in Christ and on His word, and that’s how we must live. We must not let our joy or happiness depend on anything other than Christ, and we must feed on His word alone; on Him alone. He is the ultimate thirst quencher, and hunger filler. So, when you become fully aware of this, then you will know that you can fully trust that God is good, that if you are waiting on Him, then He will and does come through. He is the One that you can fully depend on. While you wait, you can now be patient and know that everything is going to be ok. You can laugh and smile, breathe and live because you are a woman that is fully anchored on Christ.

Another great thing we can do while we wait is keep on moving. Don’t just stand and quit because you’re waiting. Get moving, take that next right step. Take good steps towards righteousness and towards the right thing towards your calling and purpose. If you’re supposed to be studying for your class instead of daydreaming about your future wedding, keep on studying. If you’re supposed to be sending in yet a new email with your resume instead of taking a nap, hey looking for a job is a job. Go on, keep going, keep at it, don’t quit. Waiting well also means you are diligent and perseverance means you work hard and keep moving with purpose.

Next time you have to wait, pray and ask the Lord to take that thing from your heart and let yourself be free of holding on onto anything other that HIM.

Love,

Sharon

10 things that will turn you into a morning person!

How to make your day flow better.

This post is for all the people who like to get things done and have a desire to be an inspiring person. The way you start your day has a lot to do with how it ends and also with how things will flow throughout it. If you struggle with being a more positive person, or feeling eager to perk out of bed, this list may help you find that there are ways to fight that and you can be a happier, more inspiring, morning person by doing simple things as part of your morning routine. Some things that have changed and that I’ve noticed inspire me to wake up and feel like I’m on top of the world are small changes I’ve made into my day to day routine. These are some of the things that have helped me become a happier person and I hope it inspires you to not only use these but incorporate some of the things that make you smile and want to smell the flowers or coffee, or whatever it is that makes you truly smile.

1. I love to stretch. A nice big stretch in your bed can actually increase blood flow to your brain and wake you up instantly.
2. A nice warm shower, add some delicious smelling shampoo and body wash. Make sure it’s your favorite smells. Give yourself enough time to take a nice shower and do your hair and all that, oh and don’t forget your make-up. Getting ready can be fun when you have all your favorite products, find those favorite scents you love. Even lighting up a delicious candle could also be a great morning treat.
3. Be creative and express your own personality through your wardrobe, don’t be afraid. Choose a great outfit that would be perfect for where you will be spending most of your day. This can make a big difference in the way you feel from the start.
4. Coffee. Yes coffee has some chemicals that make your brain happy. Ok I don’t actually know if that’s true or not, but I totally believe it. It does make me happy and inspires me to start a new day all fresh and ready to tackle the beautiful day rain or sunshine. Add some of your favorite creamer or if you prefer tea, add all the condiments you enjoy putting in it, also your favorite mug, how nice is that?!?
5. This next one you can actually do this right after the stretch or somewhere in between. I like to do it after I’ve gotten ready so I’m super awake. Have something inspiring to read, an encouraging quote or reading. I personally can’t recommend anything better than the bible. Reading even just one verse in the morning and meditating on it, and after prayer to God-Jesus, life seems to just fall into place right then and there. Also, music, especially worship music. I find it a great habit to wake up with music! I read that the first 5 minutes after you wake up, your brain rewires and takes in everything you stimulate it with, so worship music or bible reading sounds like a great way to start your day.
6. Have a delicious, nutrition, healthy breakfast. This is almost like a must unless your’e fasting. Breakfast will help start up your physical body and give you energy that will and can last almost all day.
7. Exercise. I usually do this later on the day, but a nice morning walk or a jog would not be a bad idea, in fact it’s a great one, and would totally help give you a lot of energy once you get used to incorporating it in your morning routine.
8. Have some nice music while you drive to work or wherever it is you’re going. Or if you work at home, have some great music playing in the background as you start checking those emails and messages.
9. Have some fresh flowers around or go outside and smell some flowers or just look at them and let yourself relax as you admire the natural beauty in front of you. If it’s not flowers have some art or a painting, or something colorful and beautiful that you can admire and get your creativity flowing.
10. Agenda, planner, or lists. I personally like them all. Make all the plans you can for the day, try not to to complicate it, but make a good plan to tackle the priorities and hopefully some small things to work on as well.

Lastly, don’t forget to smile, even if you have to force it, although after going through some of these things, I don’t think you would have to. Just breathe in and breathe out and just put your shoulders down and smile because it’s a fresh new day and you get to be alive and do something awesome. Dancing helps too, anytime, anywhere! 🙂

Love,

Sharon

 

Smiles are like sunshine kisses

Yesterday, I was asked to share something that made me smile this week. I loved that question, it’s something not many people ask me, and although I did smile, and have smiled many times, it’s not something I think about often and should the most. So I think it would be nice to share about something that made me smile just now:

Sitting outside in front of the main door of my house. A white formal door that makes my house look safe and welcoming in my opinion. Just sitting on the little brown pebble tile step that has welcomed many rains and feet, feet that have grown and walked through many places but still call this home. Seeing the green grass looking much greener than it has lately, the tiny purple flowers to my left like lilly bushes and the small fuchsia bugambilia bush bordering our house and our neighbors’ house soaking in the last few sun rays of the day. The plants, the blue sky with some hazy clouds, that palm tree to the right that has always stood tall after countless storms, and hurricanes that may have tried to tumble it down, birds chirping and finding rest on that black wire going across the whole block that has always reminded me about the slightly disappointing domestication of suburban life in the midst of the freedom in nature, the little white light post that only needs a white picket fence to go with it and I could pretend I was in Cape Cod, Massachusets if it wasn’t for this humid heat in May that is slowly warning us of why Florida seems to be the state closest to the moment the sun in all it’s burning fury makes that salty Atlantic ocean water evaporate, that humid hot moment that makes you grateful for pool days and water fun days or reminds you of why water nerf guns were invented. I’m here barefoot just sitting. My feet were settled on the outside carpet that reads: Welcome, and suddenly I noticed a lot of medium sized orangey ants, the ones that remind you of red ants (but they’re not huge or red enough to make you jump) just walking all over the faded black and white carpet, it was quite a lot of them, but none of them bit me nor even walked on any part of me. There are also no mosquitoes! This made me realize that sometimes it’s little things like these that make you appreciate the greater things, and I can smile endlessly!